Michael: I really like the approach you took with making this a talk show. However, I do wonder a couple of things: Will you make it a one-on-one sort of thing, in which there is an omniscient narrator or observer who explains the interactions between the talk show host and the characters? It seems like that would be interesting. Also, are you going to focus on the heroes' struggles in battles, or are you going to make some sort of modern-day parallels with their original misfortunes and successes? I'm interested to see where you go with this.
Also, I thought the image on the cover page of your storybook was quite nice. However, perhaps you could consider using a photo on your introduction that would reflect the talk show-like nature of the storybook. While the picture of Hermes does emphasize his role as the narrator of the introduction, I think that using a photo of a talk show or something similar might do the trick even better.
Welcome Page: I love the picture of Mount Olympus. I think it matches beautifully with your simple white background. Introduction: Hermes is the perfect host for a talk show at Mount Olympus, because he has to interact with all of the gods/goddess. GREAT! I think it was smart not to put an actual seven digit phone number, because I was already tempted to call that number. I like the idea of having the great Greek heroes come on a television show and say why they deserve the award of Hero of the Year. The title has me asking some questions like: Is this the first annual Hero of the Year? Have there been winners in the past? Why is there such a large time gap between when these heroes were in their prime to when they are being awarded? These are just some questions to consider. I know your storybook doesn't necessarily have to make logical sense, since it is all about bring characters to the modern day. Overall I think you have a good beginning.
That is a great picture to start with of Mount Olympus to introduce everyone to the website. It helps to let everyone know what theme shall be throughout. I really like the idea of making a talk show for all of the Greek gods to watch! I love how it features heroes that they have all seen before. It was also great to see that the viewers could vote on their favorite hero by calling in like we would. That was a great way of adding something modern into the story to make it more relatable. The format of the show made me envision Hermes in a Ryan Seacrest type of role. You also did a great job of giving a brief summary of all of the contestants. I feel like anyone will be able to read the intro and get a grasp on each character before they delve into their individual tales of heroism.
I think this idea has been done by students in the past, but it's still a good idea nonetheless! I would have liked to get some background on the show itself: why did the gods (specifically Hermes) want to start a talk show? And why is there a 1-800 number for a divine gameshow? I understand it's supposed to be partially humorous, but the site's presentation give the connotation of a seriously epic setting, so maybe something changed there might be in order (?) Also, who is the audience that Hermes' show is being "broadcast" to? The Gods? The Mortals? Both? And another thing to keep in mind about the end of your introduction: even though it's a parody of a talk show, you should rarely, if ever, tell the audience how they're supposed to feel during the story. So, try a different build up to end of the introduction other than "these stories will have you on the edge of your seat, cringing at the heroes’ every word [...]"
Michael, your storybook idea is really creative and I think it will make for a great theme. I think the picture you chose for your cover page is perfect. Your introduction does a nice job setting up the stories and really lets the reader know what to expect from the following stories. I am glad you chose some heroes that most people have heard of too, as it will make the readers more interested. Having the heroes tell their stories themselves is a great point of view for your storybook and I think it will really make it enjoyable. My storybook is about Heracles, so I have actually read the story of him and the Nemean Lion. I think you did a great job retelling it in a first person point of view and I like the adjustments you made to the original story. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your storybook.
I picked your storybook for my free choice this week (last minute as usual as I'm typing this up at 1:55 on Monday morning), and I'm glad I did! I like your cover picture a lot, it goes well with the overall theme of your site.
Introduction: you did a good job of setting up the future posts you'll be making! A simple summary of each "talk show guest" gave enough detail to keep me interested, but not too much so as to spoil the next stories! The talk show idea in general is great as well.
Heracles: I like the friendly banter between Heracles and Hermes. The details in Heracles' story were well-presented, and you did a great job of creating the story through his point of view. One thing I would suggest for later stories is possibly creating a different font for Hermes so we know when he is talking, like bolding or italicizing what he's saying. Someone just skimming through could see the text and think it's just one person talking, so differentiating between different speakers would really help keep the reader's attention!
I think you've got a great story going so far, and I'll probably come back and read the next installments!
Right off the bat I love the color choice for your website. Most people try to use some crazy off the wall colors that clash but it makes it real hard to read and enjoy. I like the idea of using an awards show/competition at the premise for your story and it seems to work pretty well :) After reading the introduction, you have to scroll all the way back to the top to go to the next story. You might think about adding a link to the next story at the end of each story. Also, the line “cringing at the heroes’ every word” at the end of the introduction … is cringing the word you wanted to use or was it clinging? I love the way you did the dialog of the first story as an interview! Other than that everything else looks good. The dialog flows good and I didn’t see any major issues. Good story!
I really really liked the way you chose to structure your story. I am actually focusing my entire storybook on Perseus, with him being the narrator throughout. I'll definitely check back because it'll be very interesting to see how yours compares and contrasts with mine! The idea of an award competition was really clever and I think it gives you as a writer a really cool opportunity to tell whatever interesting stories you want. Your first story with Heracles was very well written and interesting. I also think the conversation before and after the story itself add a nice feel to the story and make it all fit very well. I really can't think of any changes I thought needed to be made from a plot or grammar perspective, so good job! I am really looked forward to checking back and seeing where you manage to take things from here.
Michael- Your introduction was great, very mesmerizing and well written. It really pulled me in to the competition and made me excited to learn of the heroic battles. You did an excellent job portraying Hermes as the outgoing, flamboyant talk show host that we all know so well. I personally picture him as the friendly yet funny Tom Bergeron. That being said, your first tale did an excellent job living up to the hype you created in your introduction. There were only a couple spelling and grammar errors that I caught but I am sure one more read through would easily correct them. The tale of Hercules was so vivid and detailed that I felt myself there with Heracles watching as the arrows bounced off the lion’s taut skin. It was so full of suspense and had the most satisfying ending. You really are an excellent writer. I cannot wait to read of the other heros’ battles.
Hi, Michael! First off, I really like the photo that you chose for your initial Storybook page. Photos of mountains are my favorite! Once I started reading your Introduction, I realized just how perfectly it tied into everything. I really enjoyed reading your Introduction. The first sentence pulled me in and made me want to just keep reading! I thought it was really clever that you decided to make your Storybook a talk show of sorts! You also did a good job keeping the gods and goddesses from getting confusing. There are so many of them that it can be hard to keep up with! The way you broke up your paragraphs was great and made for easy reading. You made it really personal by having the main character speak to the reader or “viewers.” I definitely look forward to reading more of your Storybook. I can tell it’s a great one!
I like the organization and layout of your blog. Though your background is just a solid black color, I think it works well because it doesn't distract from your posts. Your various posts are easy to navigate because you have all the tabs at the top. The only thing I don't like is the orange color because I go to OU, but it does stand out well amongst the rest of your colors. Good job!
Your blog name really grabbed my attention and made me want to see what or who the Mount Olympus Hero of the Year was. I thought your introduction was compelling at helped set the tone for what your reader can expect from your blog. I thought it was really fun how you decided to turn your stories into a talk show. I think it could be fun to incorporate a little bit of dialogue in the introduction to keep it active and exciting! I like in your intro how you gave a preview of what’s to come like the sibling rivalry. I think you did a really great job with your blog. It would be nice to see a little bit of color, maybe even something that relates to the different Gods like clouds or something. Even though I’m not a huge fan of color either, just a little bit could be fun, maybe if the titles were a different color or something.
To start off this is my first time seeing this storybook and the title of it and the picture associated with the first page are great. It made a very interesting first impression and made me want to read further. After reading your introduction, I am very interested to see the rest of the storybook and how it turns out. The idea to make it a talk show is really creative and amusing. Each paragraph portraying a different story and what will be talked about in that "segment" makes the introdcution extremely easy to read and gives enough information to make the reader interested in the stories but doesn't give to much where we already know what will happen. I also read your first story "Heracles". Hearing the story from first person view was really cool. The way you had Heracles describe it I felt like I was listening to an athlete on Sportscenter describing the game winning play. I also think the decision to have him kill the giant lion by breaking his neck was a good decison. It really shows the strength of Heracles. It is going to be tough to not vote for him!
This is the perfect way of telling hero stories! They are always on the news or some kind of talk show. It's very natural for their stories to be told on a public level. I read the Introduction and Heracles. I had to google how Heracles and Hercules were related. The whole Greek versus Roman names thing always confused me. I've never taken a mythology class before. But it's neat that you use the less common name, Heracles (at least less common to me...). I really liked that you included an introduction to each hero by the narrator. This made it more "show-like" if that makes sense. Heracles response to the introduction and thanking the host for this opportunity was very appropriate. You really got into the atmosphere of this story. I think it's great that you added the people of Nemea! They definitely make Heracles more personable and noble.
This is my second comment on your storybook because I wanted to be sure to check back and see how it's coming! I still enjoyed it quite a bit with the additions of Perseus and Odysseus. It's actually very interesting to me because they story you tell of Perseus is slightly different than the one I've read and am working on. In the version I've read, Perseus has to bring back the head of Medusa in order to prevent his mother from being forced to marry an evil King back in the land they're living. I'm guessing their are many different versions of the story, but I thought it was kind of cool that we're adapting the stories in the ways we see fit, and some of them have already been adapted as well. Overall, I really enjoyed the additions you've made. The one critique I have is that I think you may have gone too far with making Odysseus logical. This is a bit of a personal opinion, but he just comes off almost robotic, which I think is a little more than you were looking for. Otherwise I enjoyed your storybook and look forward to checking back later!
Michael: I really like the approach you took with making this a talk show. However, I do wonder a couple of things: Will you make it a one-on-one sort of thing, in which there is an omniscient narrator or observer who explains the interactions between the talk show host and the characters? It seems like that would be interesting. Also, are you going to focus on the heroes' struggles in battles, or are you going to make some sort of modern-day parallels with their original misfortunes and successes? I'm interested to see where you go with this.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I thought the image on the cover page of your storybook was quite nice. However, perhaps you could consider using a photo on your introduction that would reflect the talk show-like nature of the storybook. While the picture of Hermes does emphasize his role as the narrator of the introduction, I think that using a photo of a talk show or something similar might do the trick even better.
Welcome Page: I love the picture of Mount Olympus. I think it matches beautifully with your simple white background.
ReplyDeleteIntroduction: Hermes is the perfect host for a talk show at Mount Olympus, because he has to interact with all of the gods/goddess. GREAT! I think it was smart not to put an actual seven digit phone number, because I was already tempted to call that number.
I like the idea of having the great Greek heroes come on a television show and say why they deserve the award of Hero of the Year. The title has me asking some questions like: Is this the first annual Hero of the Year? Have there been winners in the past? Why is there such a large time gap between when these heroes were in their prime to when they are being awarded? These are just some questions to consider. I know your storybook doesn't necessarily have to make logical sense, since it is all about bring characters to the modern day.
Overall I think you have a good beginning.
That is a great picture to start with of Mount Olympus to introduce everyone to the website. It helps to let everyone know what theme shall be throughout. I really like the idea of making a talk show for all of the Greek gods to watch! I love how it features heroes that they have all seen before. It was also great to see that the viewers could vote on their favorite hero by calling in like we would. That was a great way of adding something modern into the story to make it more relatable. The format of the show made me envision Hermes in a Ryan Seacrest type of role. You also did a great job of giving a brief summary of all of the contestants. I feel like anyone will be able to read the intro and get a grasp on each character before they delve into their individual tales of heroism.
ReplyDeleteI think this idea has been done by students in the past, but it's still a good idea nonetheless! I would have liked to get some background on the show itself: why did the gods (specifically Hermes) want to start a talk show? And why is there a 1-800 number for a divine gameshow? I understand it's supposed to be partially humorous, but the site's presentation give the connotation of a seriously epic setting, so maybe something changed there might be in order (?) Also, who is the audience that Hermes' show is being "broadcast" to? The Gods? The Mortals? Both?
ReplyDeleteAnd another thing to keep in mind about the end of your introduction: even though it's a parody of a talk show, you should rarely, if ever, tell the audience how they're supposed to feel during the story. So, try a different build up to end of the introduction other than "these stories will have you on the edge of your seat, cringing at the heroes’ every word [...]"
Michael, your storybook idea is really creative and I think it will make for a great theme. I think the picture you chose for your cover page is perfect. Your introduction does a nice job setting up the stories and really lets the reader know what to expect from the following stories. I am glad you chose some heroes that most people have heard of too, as it will make the readers more interested. Having the heroes tell their stories themselves is a great point of view for your storybook and I think it will really make it enjoyable. My storybook is about Heracles, so I have actually read the story of him and the Nemean Lion. I think you did a great job retelling it in a first person point of view and I like the adjustments you made to the original story. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your storybook.
ReplyDeleteI picked your storybook for my free choice this week (last minute as usual as I'm typing this up at 1:55 on Monday morning), and I'm glad I did! I like your cover picture a lot, it goes well with the overall theme of your site.
ReplyDeleteIntroduction: you did a good job of setting up the future posts you'll be making! A simple summary of each "talk show guest" gave enough detail to keep me interested, but not too much so as to spoil the next stories! The talk show idea in general is great as well.
Heracles: I like the friendly banter between Heracles and Hermes. The details in Heracles' story were well-presented, and you did a great job of creating the story through his point of view. One thing I would suggest for later stories is possibly creating a different font for Hermes so we know when he is talking, like bolding or italicizing what he's saying. Someone just skimming through could see the text and think it's just one person talking, so differentiating between different speakers would really help keep the reader's attention!
I think you've got a great story going so far, and I'll probably come back and read the next installments!
Right off the bat I love the color choice for your website. Most people try to use some crazy off the wall colors that clash but it makes it real hard to read and enjoy. I like the idea of using an awards show/competition at the premise for your story and it seems to work pretty well :) After reading the introduction, you have to scroll all the way back to the top to go to the next story. You might think about adding a link to the next story at the end of each story. Also, the line “cringing at the heroes’ every word” at the end of the introduction … is cringing the word you wanted to use or was it clinging? I love the way you did the dialog of the first story as an interview! Other than that everything else looks good. The dialog flows good and I didn’t see any major issues. Good story!
ReplyDeleteI really really liked the way you chose to structure your story. I am actually focusing my entire storybook on Perseus, with him being the narrator throughout. I'll definitely check back because it'll be very interesting to see how yours compares and contrasts with mine! The idea of an award competition was really clever and I think it gives you as a writer a really cool opportunity to tell whatever interesting stories you want. Your first story with Heracles was very well written and interesting. I also think the conversation before and after the story itself add a nice feel to the story and make it all fit very well. I really can't think of any changes I thought needed to be made from a plot or grammar perspective, so good job! I am really looked forward to checking back and seeing where you manage to take things from here.
ReplyDeleteMichael- Your introduction was great, very mesmerizing and well written. It really pulled me in to the competition and made me excited to learn of the heroic battles. You did an excellent job portraying Hermes as the outgoing, flamboyant talk show host that we all know so well. I personally picture him as the friendly yet funny Tom Bergeron. That being said, your first tale did an excellent job living up to the hype you created in your introduction. There were only a couple spelling and grammar errors that I caught but I am sure one more read through would easily correct them. The tale of Hercules was so vivid and detailed that I felt myself there with Heracles watching as the arrows bounced off the lion’s taut skin. It was so full of suspense and had the most satisfying ending. You really are an excellent writer. I cannot wait to read of the other heros’ battles.
ReplyDeleteHi, Michael! First off, I really like the photo that you chose for your initial Storybook page. Photos of mountains are my favorite! Once I started reading your Introduction, I realized just how perfectly it tied into everything.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your Introduction. The first sentence pulled me in and made me want to just keep reading! I thought it was really clever that you decided to make your Storybook a talk show of sorts! You also did a good job keeping the gods and goddesses from getting confusing. There are so many of them that it can be hard to keep up with!
The way you broke up your paragraphs was great and made for easy reading. You made it really personal by having the main character speak to the reader or “viewers.” I definitely look forward to reading more of your Storybook. I can tell it’s a great one!
Hi Michael!
ReplyDeleteI like the organization and layout of your blog. Though your background is just a solid black color, I think it works well because it doesn't distract from your posts. Your various posts are easy to navigate because you have all the tabs at the top. The only thing I don't like is the orange color because I go to OU, but it does stand out well amongst the rest of your colors. Good job!
Your blog name really grabbed my attention and made me want to see what or who the Mount Olympus Hero of the Year was. I thought your introduction was compelling at helped set the tone for what your reader can expect from your blog. I thought it was really fun how you decided to turn your stories into a talk show. I think it could be fun to incorporate a little bit of dialogue in the introduction to keep it active and exciting! I like in your intro how you gave a preview of what’s to come like the sibling rivalry. I think you did a really great job with your blog. It would be nice to see a little bit of color, maybe even something that relates to the different Gods like clouds or something. Even though I’m not a huge fan of color either, just a little bit could be fun, maybe if the titles were a different color or something.
ReplyDeleteTo start off this is my first time seeing this storybook and the title of it and the picture associated with the first page are great. It made a very interesting first impression and made me want to read further.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your introduction, I am very interested to see the rest of the storybook and how it turns out. The idea to make it a talk show is really creative and amusing. Each paragraph portraying a different story and what will be talked about in that "segment" makes the introdcution extremely easy to read and gives enough information to make the reader interested in the stories but doesn't give to much where we already know what will happen.
I also read your first story "Heracles". Hearing the story from first person view was really cool. The way you had Heracles describe it I felt like I was listening to an athlete on Sportscenter describing the game winning play. I also think the decision to have him kill the giant lion by breaking his neck was a good decison. It really shows the strength of Heracles. It is going to be tough to not vote for him!
This is the perfect way of telling hero stories! They are always on the news or some kind of talk show. It's very natural for their stories to be told on a public level. I read the Introduction and Heracles. I had to google how Heracles and Hercules were related. The whole Greek versus Roman names thing always confused me. I've never taken a mythology class before. But it's neat that you use the less common name, Heracles (at least less common to me...). I really liked that you included an introduction to each hero by the narrator. This made it more "show-like" if that makes sense. Heracles response to the introduction and thanking the host for this opportunity was very appropriate. You really got into the atmosphere of this story. I think it's great that you added the people of Nemea! They definitely make Heracles more personable and noble.
ReplyDeleteThis is my second comment on your storybook because I wanted to be sure to check back and see how it's coming! I still enjoyed it quite a bit with the additions of Perseus and Odysseus. It's actually very interesting to me because they story you tell of Perseus is slightly different than the one I've read and am working on. In the version I've read, Perseus has to bring back the head of Medusa in order to prevent his mother from being forced to marry an evil King back in the land they're living. I'm guessing their are many different versions of the story, but I thought it was kind of cool that we're adapting the stories in the ways we see fit, and some of them have already been adapted as well. Overall, I really enjoyed the additions you've made. The one critique I have is that I think you may have gone too far with making Odysseus logical. This is a bit of a personal opinion, but he just comes off almost robotic, which I think is a little more than you were looking for. Otherwise I enjoyed your storybook and look forward to checking back later!
ReplyDelete